Agouti Music Community

So I am finally accomplishing the lifelong goal of having my own TV show, which thanks to the Internet is entirely too easy. I am expecting to move all my comedic stylings to my new site, so I don't think I will be here as often as I was. Don't worry....

Check out this headline from Yahoo!'s home page:"Oil Rises Above $74 a Barrel"Considering it's been above $74 for most of the past week, this is a very misleading headline. When it was $78 per barrel, that would have been the time for this type of headline.Speaking...

Tomorrow is, too. Any auction or fixed-price listing that starts before midnight Pacific tomorrow night will be just 20 cents to list. What a freakin' deal. If it weren't so damn hot, I'd do something about it....

The secret word was "time," and Pee-Wee said, "It's time for your nap, Pterri," and no one noticed!...

I can make obsessive confessions to artists that I like, and they write back an hour later thanking me.http://www.dotallison.com/cgi-bin/dotyabb/YaBB.cgi?board=general;action=display;num=1153171834This is much better than receiving a restraining order...

Pollution rules. I had to go to Hayward today for a dentist appointment, and now I don't have to pay for it, because it's a Spare the Air day. Now I get to go for free.I love programs like these, but don't think for a second they do any good. People don't...

I have been a little behind with my magazines on eBay. So I finally sold a Rolling Stone from June the other day. I tend not to read the magazines that I sell. I am busy, and people can tell they've been thumbed through. However, this article forced me...

Thanks to figuring out that I can make movies with my digital camera, it gives me something to do.I'm sorry. I've been to hundreds of shows in my life. I just can't get it up for a show anymore. But now, I have to focus my energy on holding the camera...

There needs to be a name for this: When gas gets more expensive, mass transit gets more expensive, but not right away. For about six months, fares don't catch up to the increased price in gas, and that six-month window is a great time to get on the train....

My gym is having a sale on multivitamins, and they did not make a good sign for it. It says "Multivitamin sale! 2 for $9.99," but it doesn't say two of what. Obviously, they mean bottles, but I don't know that!So I said to the guy at the front desk that...

You know the drill: A class-action suit has been filed against BMG, and anyone and their brother can participate because there is no way to prove anything. The result: up to five CDs from their catalog for about $4 each. More information is here:http://www.bmgmusic.com/stelk/settlementKnock...

"It's like the time when I (insert pop culture reference)."Repeat for 22 minutes, and you have an episode....

A non-native speaker of Spanish should not be coining new terms, but many years ago, I did just that. In Spanish class in high school, I learned that "cesos" was the word for "brain." Well, I already knew that "queso" meant cheese, so it didn't take long...

This is one of my favorite quotes from the '90s. I wish I had saved them up. I would be rich. Instead, my uncopyrighted creativity is on every street corner."The best person to get in an accident with is a raver, because she'll always have the flares...

I hate that I can't use keywords to drive traffic when those keywords are people's names, because then it looks like I am being vindictive. There's just no way around it, so I will just have to suffer.At any rate this is relevant today because I actually...

It's this weekend. Pinball geeks emerge from parents' garages and basements from around the world to strut their stuff in front of other pinball geeks, who have also emerged from parents' garages and basements from around the world.I have written off...

I was in goal for street hockey Monday, and I scored. Sure, the other goalie was a 10-year-old goalie and the other team's forward's daughter, but so what? I scored as a goalie. Sure, the shot was wide and she kicked it in accidentally with the back of...

Genetically engineer some corn so the drugs are inside the kernels. A recent reading excursion reminded me that corn kernels are inpenetrable while running through the intestines. To me, this was an a-ha moment. I could have had heroin in those corn kernels...

I had a dream where I went to a movie pre-screening, and halfway through, they stopped the movie and gave us questionnaires to fill out. The questions were all about the end of the movie, so we didn't know how to answer them. The person in charge said...

We will see legislation that proposes moving Independence Day to the first Monday in July....

My favorite day of the week, except it doesn't happen every week, and some weeks have more exciting things. It's still a wonderful thing, though. Here's hoping I don't break any sticks like I did last time....

If Adult Swim would spend more time bringing back the shows I like and less time creating shows that suck, it would be a much more worthwhile television event....

eBay invited me to see this movie. It was like any other advanced screening, except they did not hand out too many tickets, forcing you to stand in line for two hours to see it. Because they only invited enough people to fill the theatre, only half of...

We're closing our library tomorrow, and today we are sending off the librarians with cake and cider. I don't understand the logic behind the move, and I don't like trading neat people for cake. There is no good news. It seems that everyone that either...

This morning it is a chilly 78 degrees in my bedroom. This is the coolest it has been in more than a week. The next ice age is imminent!I wasn't kidding when I said I didn't want to be dating anyone anymore and that I was sick of sacrificing just to guarantee...